Though attitudes in UK society have somewhat positively changed in the past few decades towards the LGB identities, such as marriage rights, there is ongoing hostility, prejudice and discrimination towards trans people. However, despite a change in beliefs in many countries, there are still many places in the world where it is not safe to be ‘out’ with an LGBTQ identity. In some places, you can be sent to your death because of your sexuality or for identifying as trans. For LGBTQ people then, living with autonomy and being your authentic self is full of challenges, leading to significant mental health problems, like anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation.
For all of us, our minds are shaped by the world around us through interactions with our peers and our family, on issues such as gender, religion, politics etc. Sexuality is another essential topic that affects everyone, so looking at what is said in society about LGBTQ people is important. We live in a world, where day-to-day conversations can reflect society's suspicion, repulsion, disgust, rejection, intolerance of LGBTQ people. Messages such as heterosexual is ‘normal’, being gay is not. People who identify as LGBTQ are ‘different’. That it’s ok to oppress people, (though in some places there are laws to prevent this such as the Equality Act 2010 in the UK). People from the LGBTQ community, living in this society, unconsciously absorb these beliefs relating to LGBTQ people, and this is what can lead to internalised homophobia.
This process begins when we are very young and has a significant effect on how we think and feel about ourselves and others. To appreciate this in a different way, think about how you learnt to speak your native language. You absorbed what you heard from others and your language use was shaped and defined by those around you. This is the same for much of what we learn when we were young. Thoughts and beliefs related to sexuality are no different.
Imagine a young queer person raised by parents who are in a heterosexual relationship. As the individual gets older, they become aware their feelings towards the same sex are not what they have seen witnessed from their parents or others in their environment. They may begin to sense that what they feel is different, and being open about this may cause them internal mental issues, such as anxiety, fear of rejection, fear of prejudice, or anger. A child may want to play with the opposite sex, in play deemed inappropriate for their gender, but instead push down these feelings to conform to expectations by playing with others of the same sex.
As adults, internalised homophobia can lead to difficulties forming intimate relationships with someone of the same sex. Individuals may devalue their relationships with same sex partners, believing these relationships are not ‘proper’ or ‘normal’. Problems can arise with sexual behaviour and functioning, due to an individual believing the sexual behaviour they are engaging with is wrong, disgusting or shameful. Some people may avoid having sex at all due to a fear or phobia of engaging in sex or their desire being impinged by their internalised homophobia. A queer individual may inherently feel deep down there is something wrong with them, yet on a more day-to-day level, feel absolutely fine with who they are. This confusion and conflict with different parts of themselves can develop as a result of internalised homophobia.
Therapy is a good place to explore internalised homophobia. To look at the fabric of someone’s life, to see what it constitutes and how it is made. To shine a light on the influences of society and culture. To account for an individual’s experiences in their development, and the unconscious messages they picked up from others, or gave to themselves that have defined how they think, feel and behave in the world about their sexuality.
Of course, heterosexual therapists can provide excellent therapy to LGBTQ clients. However, some writers believe finding a therapist who has the same sexuality to an individual or at least from the same community can be a real benefit in counselling and psychotherapy. This is because the therapist will have lived life that can be similar to the clients in terms of the questions and exploration related to their sense of self and identity. They will have lived experience of coming out to people in the social world regarding their sexuality or identity. They can offer validation and empathy from a place of understanding, through having a shared experience. The client may have to do less explaining to the therapist about their sexuality. The client may feel safer talking to a therapist who is from the community, with the perception that they will be less misunderstood and more accepted.
Transactional Analysis, the type of therapy I use, is excellent for developing understanding and awareness of all kinds of mental issues, including internalised homophobia. In sessions, my clients and I would look at the messages an individual learnt that defined their identity when they were younger, and which was impacting them today. With this awareness, we would look to clarify what it is they wanted to change about their thoughts and beliefs, so that they could feel differently today. To gain more autonomy and acceptance of who they are today, enabling them to live with greater mental ease, feeling positive and self-assured about who they are.
Reference
Ian Mcnally and Naomi Adams, (2000) Psychosexual Issues, in Issues in therapy with lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender clients. (eds) Charles Neal and Dominic Davies.
Carol Shadbolt (2004) Homophobia and gay affirmative Transactional Analysis. Found in Transactional Analysis Journal, vol (34), No.(2)
Commenti